Episodes
Sunday Nov 29, 2020
Sunday Nov 29, 2020
artifacts
I'm burying my head deep
into a distant May
a stretch from this late January where an
unseasonable warmth
has reawakened
these lilacs beneath my skin
(they sprawl, varicose,
purple clusters
across my forearms
around the backs
of my shoulders)
come close
it's on my breath
the soil radiant but cool
just three handfuls down:
water from a spring melt filtering
deep to the roots
the china-doll's broken foot
spent shell casings
and chimney stones
marked by old fires have torn
my nails
wedged the nutrients deep into
my fingers
where growth begins
mid-winter hike
1
home is where I'm too whole and each
step in any direction
is the losing of something
I replace the pieces
with something new—
light on the crusted snow
leg bone of a deer
gnawed twice,
by coyote and myself
trying to get at the marrow
of things
I want to return satiated
full of something I hadn't missed
before, so spent I'm unable
to sleep for dreaming
2
pine cones grow warm
on the side of this hill
where sun has drawn back
the snow
the dry grass, the needles
glow with an idea of what spring is—
memory and prophecy
the cones open
their wooden petals
and seeds are always hidden
near the center waiting for
fire
only wind
and the winter birds' chatter
can speak so patiently
of the slow hand of sun opening up
everything
a bit at a time
unhurried
3
I'm not alone out here,
someone dogs me
at every turn
I fumble to recall
the name
as I stumble home
carrying words
so as not to jostle them
into a trite retelling
who is it? I spin
who's there?
out this far, it's impossible
to be alone
before you teach
1
a few hours before class
drive out Tinton road
until you leave any traffic
behind you
the trees will not distract you
they will stand
perfectly still
here, you must leave the
the beaten path
and join them along
an ancient road left
overgrown
wind your way among them
to a shaded spot
and kill your engine
from here you travel
on foot
speed is no longer
your goal
each step is a lesson
2
here, dig into
the hard dirt bank
find egg-shaped rocks
fractured by the weight
of millennia
and know that a thing
whether fertile or not
left long unhatched
turns to stone
think as you walk
of the mountain lion
waiting patiently
for a sign of weakness
know that hunger
is his nature
and that you have come here
with only a pocket knife
and your senses
see—he has left
for you a sign
claw marks in the mud hole
long and deep,
count them
one, two, three, four, five
straight as a treble clef left empty and waiting
for your half
of his composition
3
coming home
roll down all the windows
and drive fast
letting the dust
filter in
sprinkle, flavor
your books your papers
even your skin
the sweat of the journey
will make it stick
and you will taste it
in your teeth
even as you speak
to your students
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